A lot of members favourite free time activity is to find competitive couples and or singles to have Cyber Sex and Cyber Sex Party with them. They try to get to know each other via Cyber Sex.
At first they are just on-line friends, then they will do few erotic things on-line to each other, those erotic things are part of their erotic fantasy, then later on, they will turn Cyber Sex into real sex, if there is any competitiveness.
What does our members think about Cyber Sex? Personally, I am not into any Cyber Sex, I prefer the real action, but I have to admit, the idea to get to know each other during cyber sex, is very safe…
We have only been a member of Swingers Couple.net about 6 weeks. My husband was very excited that I joined, and encouraged me to participate, including going on web-cam and having cyber sex.
About 4 weeks ago, I met (on line) one particular man – on the other side of the world – who I really “clicked” with, and have been chatting with him about once a day since then.
I have (we have) a number of other singles and couples that I chat with, too, but my husband perceives that I have something special with this particular friend, and is very hurt by our on-line friendship.
He has no problems with me even having cyber sex with the male half of a couple; the problem with this friendship is that my friend is single, and hubby doesn’t feel that he’s a party to the friendship.
He says he feels like I have cheated on him with this man. I stopped having cyber sex with him as soon as my husband expressed these feelings, about 3 weeks ago, and now only
chat with my friend – as we had developed a rapport beyond just cyber sex. We mostly chat about quite innocuous stuff – work, his social life, sport, news etc.
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However we do also sometimes chat sexually explicitly, sharing our sexual adventures, exchanging erotic pictures, and discussing potential lady friends or him on Swingers Couple.net.
Hubby and I agreed that these parameters were OK – as long as I didn’t cam2cam with him, or talk about this man and I having cyber sex.
I record all my chat transcripts, and make them freely available to hubby.
This man and I have now developed a strong on-line friendship, teasing each other mercilessly, and lending each other an ear when we’re having bad days. He has been going through a very rough trot with job loss and a relationship breakdown, and says that our friendship has helped him enormously in regaining his confidence and lifting him out of depression.
But hubby has confided that every time I mention this man – because we have an arrangement that I reveal all my chats – it really hurts him. He says it’s like being reminded of my having cheated on him (which I never have).
Unfortunately, the more time passes, the harder it is to do, but I would absolutely still do it today to spare my husband’s feelings.
The catch is that hubby says he doesn’t want me to do that; that his hurt is irrational, and that he doesn’t want to get in the way of my fun and friendship, and would prefer he just got over his irrational
Of course, I would much prefer to have it all (wouldn’t we all?), and keep my friendship without hurting my husband. But it seems that irrational or not, his feelings aren’t changing.
I do not believe I am falling in love with this man, nor will I. But I do pride myself on being loyal (to my husband and to my friends (smile)), and I am reluctant to just drop him, when I know in my own mind that his friendship has absolutely nothing to do with my love for, and loyalty to, my husband.
Today, my husband says the solution is obvious: I should chat to and do whatever I want online, and my hubby says he has to learn to get over his irrational feelings of jealousy. He wants to remove even the limits we’d agreed upon, and says I can go back to having cyber sex and doing kinky web cam to cam to cam.
I had come to the opposite conclusion: I must stop talking to any single men, and only talk with couples. Rational or not, his feelings are his feelings, and I don’t want to hurt him.
So, do any of you have any thoughts on whether hubby is likely to ever get over his feelings about this particular man? Any suggestions as to how I might convince him that this friendship is absolutely no threat to my feelings for my husband?
Or is that the wrong question to ask… Should I just drop my friend immediately, even though I enjoy our friendship, and so does my friend?
Please just let me clarify once more that if my hubby gave any indication that HE wanted me to drop this friend, I’d do it in an instant, no question. We have a very strong relationship and I wouldn’t jeopardize it for anything.
It’s only my hubby’s insistence that we should try to “push through” this, that causes me to be uncertain as to the right course of action.
I’m very confused and would appreciate any (well-considered) thoughts…
Although if it is something you both want it will work and can be great.
As far as your friend I would take a step back maybe not talk to him for awhile or just once a week. Yeah it might be hard but what is more important your husband or a online friendship?
For him the excitement was the brief, sexual contact (with lack thereof emotion attachment).
For you, you have found friendship and meaning in some of the people you have been chatting to.
Summed up -> one night stands on line – versus a longer real relationship. I don’t think I need to say more…
With is what it is suppose to be about. Sex and love are two different things… I think he is talking about the personal and emotional attachment that worries him. I don’t blame him.
If you have that for the other guy where does that leave him?
Fun buddies (sex friends) are just for sex and you should have no emotion attachment to them. That is when the problems happen and feelings get hurt.
It is a fine line to walk, not everyone’s rules are the same.
Ask yourself who means more to you a fuck buddy or your husband?
I don’t think you need to have a University Degree to come up with the right answer.