Our partners today’s erotic dating subject. A woman wrote it:
It seems I keep turning guys away from me. I don’t do it purposely, but I think I may have figured out why.
A short version is I’m shy sexually, need to be comfortable with the guy before having sex, never had an orgasm, etc. If you want more details please check out my latest erotic dating blog entry, it explains a lot more.
Anyway, it’s rare I find a guy on here I’m interested enough to meet with. Usually picture and/or profile/lack
of profile is enough to turn me off. Sometimes after an e-mail or two I become uninterested, but once in awhile I find one that I think we’d do well and is worth meeting.
I always thought I should tell the guy pretty soon after talking about my sexual hangups. I don’t want to meet up and then have wasted either of our times once I tell him. But lately when I’ve told the guy, I stop hearing from them when they seemed so interested.
I just want to make clear if I reach the comfort level I need with a guy for sewhich is why I can’t do anything less than fwb. I become less shy and the hangups do start to go away.
I am not sure I understand you right… Fwb stand for friendship with benefits….if one or both is married, then its pretty much cheating innit? Or if you are single it’s a way of saying you don’t want anything serious but you do want sex, a lot of sex. That would be the benefits.
So what is your problem? If you are looking for sex, then you can find almost unlimited sex partners here, in any age any sex, and any scenarios, even with any sexual preferences. If you are looking for friendship, and maybe sex months after your friendship started…then you are definitely at the wrong place.
If you want a fwb, with out the benefits why would you be looking here? Yes, you can find them and usually it is by trial and error. The way my women friends have told me it works is that you might meet with someone and sometimes there are repeats and other times there isn’t.
But, to require that up front, you just don’t know if it is going to work out that way. Not only that, sometimes you do develop a friendship, but people come here mainly for the erotic benefits.
What happens when that sex friends no longer is interested in. That happens all the time on this site. I can tell you a lot of men treat women pretty shitty when that happens.
Most just walk, disappear or ignore you. Yet you are treating this as some sort of emotional crutch to get over your shyness. That is a lot to put on someone … especially from someone from an erotic dating or casual sex site.
I think the reasons you are turned off by these men after a couple of e-mails is because your instincts are telling you these men are not right for you and can not give you what you want.
You should trust your instincts. If you are looking for an emotional connection, you should probably look elsewhere.
Am I telling them too soon? What’s the right time to bring that conversation up here, on an erotic dating website? People, men, women and couples come here, because they are looking for sex… Didn’t you know this?
And if you never had an orgasm before, then definitely something is wrong with you, or with all of your previous sex partners. Maybe you should watch a little porn and start masturbating. Bringing yourself to orgasm should be your first priority, if you don’t know what will work, your sex partner or lover certainly wont know either.
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